two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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