you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize
