Just cropdusted the office
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Randomize
