Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
