Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Boobs speak an international language.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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