um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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