last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
