i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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