can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize