I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
