You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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