Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
