Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
