Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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