dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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