i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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