There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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