My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
