i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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