i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
