Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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