Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
