the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
