Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Randomize
