Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
