I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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