I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
