i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
