I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
