yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
