i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
