Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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