I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
