out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
