sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize