did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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