i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
