So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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