sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
