it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
