If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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