You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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