Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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