You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Randomize
