well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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