Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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