I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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