Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just got carded by a ten year old.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
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