Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
