His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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