i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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