Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
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btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
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I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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