if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
