dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Enjoy the penises
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
