So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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