and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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