Porn is love you can see.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
