so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
