Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
