I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
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