awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
