what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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